“Be Yourself” has been on my mind lately.  At this time of the year, bloggers are giving their year in thoughts and this one comes up on almost every list for successful blogging: Be Yourself.

Being the youngest of 4 girls, I have struggled with for some reason.  My whole life, it has been normal for me to run things past my sisters.  I have always relied fully on their opinions.  I trusted their opinions.  Their style, their ideas.  Growing up, I wanted to be just like my older sisters.

Now that I’m grown up though, I’m okay with being different.  I’m okay with being me.  And that’s been something I’ve had to learn.

When I became a mama, I learned the hard way that I had to do what was best for me.  Being a first time mom, we all get handed advice and we take it to heart.  We want to follow the mothers who have walked this path before us.  But the thing is, we all walk this path so differently.  There is no wrong or right way to raising children.  We simply have to follow our own instincts and that’s not something we can just ask our older sisters/friends/parents for.

In this magical world of blogging, I think it’s so, so easy to get hard on yourself when you’re looking through pages and pages of beautiful homes, meticulously organized, kids clean and dressed from head to toe, craft projects underway, 6am bootcamp sessions completed, and birthday parties bigger than your wedding.  We live in a beautiful world of ideas and creativity, but some times.. most the time.. that’s not “real life” stuff.  At least this is CERTAINLY not what my “real life” looks like.  And while I love and appreciate these other amazing mamas for the inspiration they give to my life, I need to focus on being me.  And I’m okay with that.

I’m the kind of girl who loves.  Fully, whole-heartedly.  Sometimes too vulnerably.

I am not the girl who has a clean house all the time.  Maybe 20% of the time at best. (between the hours of 9 pm and 7:30 am)

I am definitely the girl who has dishes in the sink and I’m outside jumping on the tramp with my girls.
I used to feel self conscious about this, but really, I like this about myself.  I “real life” want to be the type of mom who spends time with her kids as much as possible and not always be busy with chores or jobs or whatever else. I applaud you mothers who have figured out a way to do both.. I would love to come over and see how you do this, but for the time being, I have embraced the chaos in my home with two young children and appreciate the season of life I”m in.

I am not the girl who will tell you to “sleep train” your baby.  I rock my baby (is 2 1/2 still a baby? She is to me.) to sleep every night and every nap time.  I would not trade those 10 minutes for any amount of hours of sleep in the world.  This is what works for us, but I would encourage you do what works for you.

I am the girl who believes in the natural birth experience.  I would never push these beliefs on someone else, but I would absolutely encourage you to open your heart and mind even to things you never considered before.  My life changed so much for the better from doing this.

I am not the girl who will complain about money, our home, our cars.. I am blessed beyond belief in this life I live.  We surely have room to grow and I appreciate the journey we’re on.

I am the girl who is sometimes quick to snap at her husband and even quicker (hopefully) to apologize.

I am not the girl who will judge anyone on their beliefs or values or lifestyles, as I appreciate those who won’t judge me for the same.

I am the girl who tries to eat organic, healthy, delicious meals when we can.  I love to cook for my family and I feel proud to be raising them on the best food of my ability.

I am also the girl who has NO problem splurging on a cheeseburger and coke whenever the opportunity arises.

I am not the girl who wishes away her stretch marks (yes, I carry my fair share) or who diets to get back to the “pre-baby” size.  I wear those “ribbons” on my hips with so much honor.  Proud my body stretched beyond it’s limits to accommodate my growing baby.  Same goes for post baby curves.  I worked hard for those curves!  I love my body for it’s capabilities.  Perfectly imperfect.

I am the girl who wears a top knot and sweats almost all the time at home.  I like being comfy and cozy.  I love to snuggle.  I’m not a big sweets person, but I do love me a diet pepsi with lemon.  I’m a horrible texter-backer, but I pray for my friends and family daily.  I have a big heart, and a scattered brain.

Most importantly, I am a girl who tries her best every single day to be a better person than I was the day before.  I am in a constant state of working on myself, working with my past, planning for my future, and loving the hell out of life.

One of my goals for 2013 is just simply being myself.  I think that’s one resolution I’ll be able to make.

xoxo, C